Offnominal

Still not able to get interested in Baseball this season, but this Onion article is hy-sterical:
“Boston fans are the greatest fans in the world,” Matsuzaka told reporters through an interpreter upon being asked if he had left Japan out of fears that his Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion might split Mount Fuji, strike the rising sun from the sky, and awaken the wrathful atomic lizard Gojira. “I’m very happy and excited to be a member of the Red Sox.”